"

Look around your college classroom, spot the virgins.

See, this seems like a game until you skip over the girl with a short skirt and hair in front of her eyes because you heard last summer that she slept with like nineteen guys. You can’t see her hands, but they’re under the table, pulling a rosary through her fingers as she tries to wash the sin off her. She’s only ever kissed three people in her whole life and they’re all girls. She turned down the wrong guy and he told everyone she’s “a whore.” The label “slut” stuck to the bottom of her shoe and swallowed her up.

But that quiet girl who is always reading probably never touched someone else’s penis, you figure, because you don’t know that she goes home and strips down and pulls on tight black leather, you don’t know she’s got a set of whips that could make any set of knees quiver, you don’t know because she’s proud of what she does but she’s not stupid enough to let anyone know about it. She’s sexy, just not here, not where people judge.

See, the truth is: you have no idea who has lost their virginity, because it doesn’t change you. It doesn’t give you some kind of glow or superpower or stamp on your forehead. You know the feeling of waking up on your birthday and thinking “I don’t feel any older whatsoever”? That’s what maybe they’re all so afraid of you finding out: sex doesn’t change you. Sex doesn’t make you an animal, sex doesn’t suddenly make your relationship a million times more stable or intimate or romantic - it can’t fix what’s broken, although it can make the pain go away for a bit. Sex doesn’t really occur with eighty tea lights and a thick white rug. Sex is ugly and loud and frequently awkward, sex is excellent and breathtaking and when you wake up the next morning, you’re the exact same person. There’s not some magical connection with the person in bed beside you. Believe it or not, pregnancy isn’t some kind of punishment - but practice safe sex, get tested, don’t spread your germs around. They want to tell you, “Sex can ruin you” and I’ve heard that a lot as a little girl, that some boy would join me under my sheets and then dump me four days after, used, unhappy.

But I figured out that I’m not a fucking toy. Letting someone have sex with me is not letting them “use” me, because I’m not an object. My father said the issue lay in the fact “Men are insecure and need to know that they’re the best you ever had,” but I think that’s a steaming crock of absolute-wrong and if I didn’t tell the people I’m with how many others I’d slept beside, there would be literally no way for them to know my number, because I don’t rust, I don’t wear out, I don’t get bruised. I’m not a wilting fruit, I don’t go rotten.

But here’s the thing: some people connect sex and emotion. I don’t personally because I am probably secretly an ice storm in disguise, but I still respect my partner’s desires. If they’re the type to want love and sex to coincide, I let them. I don’t make fun, I don’t pull one-night-stands or friends-with-benefits, because it’s not their “reputation” I’m afraid for: it’s their heart I’m defending.

Here’s the thing: Instead of worrying about people’s “purity” and how it defines them as a person, worry instead about how you can protect other people’s emotions.

Because here’s the thing: look around your room and spot the virgins. Look harder. You can’t tell. Sex doesn’t alter people, it doesn’t make them act in a certain way nor dress in a certain manner. Sex and personality have nothing to do with each other. There’s a reason that virginity doesn’t show on someone’s face: because having sex doesn’t cause you to change.

"

"I lost my virginity to a boy I didn’t even love…" /// r.i.d (via inkskinned)

(via villainouslaughs)

"You deserve the kind of love you would give someone else."

A Message to My Followers and Everyone Else That Ever Reads This (#127: February 3, 2014)

(Source: write2014, via aspiringflowerchild)

"You kissed me with your
rum soaked lips and I’ve been drunk
on you ever since."

25th of May - IS (via wordsandlust)

(via johnnyblackk)

"Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, ‘Where have I gone wrong’.
Then a voice says to me, ‘This is going to take more than one night.’"

Charles M. Schulz (via figs3)

(Source: observando, via deep-sigh-diving)

"You’d destroy me, and I’d let you."

7 Word Poem (via incoloure)

(via mama-marley)

"every kiss begins with ¿que?"

a confused spaniard (via artcicmokneys)

(Source: partybarackisinthehousetonight, via neverbeenlicked)

"She burned you.
That’s what happens
when you
play with fire."

"Attract them by the way you live."

Saint Augustine  (via blvshes)

(Source: psych-quotes, via monicaclairee)

"I should have kissed you longer."

six word story (via perfect)

(Source: pakalmot, via johnnyblackk)

"In one experiment, mothers were asked to guess the steepness of a carpeted slope that their 11-month olds would be able to crawl. Then the children actually crawled the slope, and the difference between actual and mother-predicted angles was noted.

The results showed that both boys and girls were able to crawl the same degree of incline. However, the predictions of the mothers were correct within one degree for the boys and underestimated their daughter’s ability by nine degrees.

What this shows is that the presumption that boys are more physical causes parents to encourage their boys more in physical activities while cautioning their girls. This further translates into providing more opportunities for boys to be physical and fewer for girls. The result?

Boys actually do develop stronger physical skills than girls. But not because of anything innate or biological, but rather because of the gender roles that the parents subconsciously projected onto their babies."

Gender Neutral Parenting: 5 Ways To Avoid Implicit Sexism (via Everyday Feminism)

The experiment mentioned is available in full HERE.   

(via notes-on-intersectional-feminism)

Stop. This is important.

(via james-tiqueerius)

(via clairdesol)

"Masturbation is a form of stress relief. So go fuck yourself and calm down."

"You can tell how dangerous a person is by the way they hold their anger inside themselves quietly."

"I only sleep with people I love, which is why I have insomnia."

Emilie Autumn, The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls (via expiry)

(Source: uglypnis, via hellredsky)

"To hell with them. Nothing hurts if you don’t let it."

Ernest Hemingway (via petivit)

(Source: elliptical, via generalsamhouston-deactivated20)

"Who sees the human face correctly: the photographer, the mirror, or the painter?"

Pablo Picasso  (via peonify)

(Source: s-stevens, via muuuggan)